Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thanksgiving on Facebook

This is the day most of us are busy with preparations for a traditional feast--turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans in casseroles, sweet potatoes laced with maple syrup or topped with chopped nuts and marshmallows, and an assortment of pies. It's a holiday all about food, and traditional food at that. Everybody has a favorite memory of a food served on this day, and a lot of memories about the holiday itself, some, truth be told, not all that happy. But surely there is one theme to be cherished on this day every year: a mood of gratitude and family feelings as good as we can muster.

This year I'm in a transition on the holiday. I'm beginning to pack for a move to New Paltz in little more than a week. I've been invited to share the meal with one of the most special friends I've ever had, Cristina, whom I met here in Hoboken. Cristina is the kind of person who leaps to help anybody in her circle who needs her. In my case, she read a blog post I wrote on my other blog "Finding Myself in Hoboken" in which she could tell I was more than a bit lost and in need of somebody to help me find myself. Since that day four years ago, she has come to my rescue dozens of times, driving me to building supply stores, inviting me to a New Year's Eve with friends at her house, helping me shop, and always being there whenever I needed something. A couple of years ago she and her husband found an apartment for the winter in Miami and I knew there was one fewer reason to stay in Hoboken.

Since enrolling in Facebook I've created a virtual life among friends, most of whom I've never met in person. The few I have arranged to meet have become very valuable to me. All provide a sense of community in cyberspace (they don't call it a social network for nothing), a way to feel a bit connected to like-minded souls wherever they may live. I've sold most of my books via publicity on Facebook, and created a circle of about 250 folks I feel I know and from whom I feel a wave of support whenever I go on to type some kind of complaint or even something nice. Most of my blog readers come from this pool of friends, and that means a lot.

This Thanksgiving I want to tip my hat to Facebook. There are times when the system clogs up or the management of the site makes me want to choke somebody, but I keep coming back because of one thing: There is love there.

As for Cristina, I will try to convey to her, without making her uncomfortable, how much I've counted on her in my days in Hoboken, and how much I hope I'll find someone remotely like her in New Paltz. I'll do this cautiously, not to make her uncomfortable, while eating turkey at her get-together and savoring the meaning of the holiday.


  1. You have made a lot of peoples lives that much richer Mary Lois. Thank you for being my friend!
    Steve H

  2. What a sweet thing to say. I too feel as though many of my facebook friends, including you, are dearer and more real than the people I'm surrounded by in "real life". We share common interests, ideals and even dislikes. Most of all though, we do share love that can be felt just as real as anything. Thanks for your friendship, good luck with your move, and don't eat too much turkey. Happy thanksgiving Mary Lois.

  3. Who woulda thunk it? But what you say about the folks you met (cyberwise or elsewise) on FB is so TRUE. And though you're moving up to New Paltz, you're going to continue to be as real (and wonderful) to me as when you were in Hoboken. Here's to a lifetime of breaking the mold(s.)


  4. Happy Thanksgiving, ML. I want to be away from nyc for about a year. Since you know New Palz well (by now), could you tell me what the rent for a 1 or 2 bedroom apt. goes for? I don't want to buy--just rent.

  5. I have marked my calender for, december 1st,2017. today is moving day for mary Lois to leave New Palz and go to Vermont, maine or new hampshire. Also it seems to me that you are about ready for a move to paris, rome or florence.

  6. Dec. 1 is the first night of auditions for 'Bus Stop' at Theatre98. I gotta be there, so I can't help ML that day.

  7. Hey I'm moving December 2. Can't you just drop everything and hop on a plane after the auditions? I'll just need you for a day or two...

  8. Mary Lois, I feel very blessed to have you as a FB friend. Someday I hope we can meet F2F.

    1. Shoot. This came up anonymous. This is Cheri.

  9. Cheri, you have to type your chosen screen name in the box that says "Name/URL." Thanks for your kind words--I hope we meet someday too!